Aug. 17th, 2015

ladyloveswolves7: Beaugi bear (Default)
My generation is dropping like flies. My aunt's generation is passing 100... Another funeral just days before a reunion. Life is so weird. The man who died (younger than I), with his wife Shan, bred standard poodles. I was spending time entering data in the Poodle Pedigree database this morning and on a whim put in his kennel name and nothing appeared. None of his dogs had been entered. So I wrote to his daughter offering to enter everything if she gets the paperwork together. I think I have lost my mind...maybe hold my breath that she says no. On the other hand, it could be a winter project. She will be cleaning out his house and something should be done with the paperwork on the dogs..organize it and put it up with their peers.

I hardly rebound from one death when there is another. I hardly had time to catch my breath from Renate and Mac and Mal. I hope the rest of the year is clear.

Other than that I am having a wonderful summer. The weather has been just perfect for me. I got my cat tattoo, I pigged on birthday and have since lost the weight again. My reading challenge with Goodreads is going swimmingly...220 books so far this year...I will have to switch my goal number higher pretty soon.

Diet is going well...68 pound loss but whenever there is a death I think...for goodness sake eat cake you never know when it will be your last chance.

Bea is away at cottage so I shall drive her car to funeral...have to take Ash-Leigh but this is a poodle family and she will be accepted...unlike Lena who didn't want me to take her into the funeral home where John lay in state so I didn't get to spend any time with any of the family. It was January and the car was freezing so I could not leave her in it and this time it is hot as Hades and I cannot leave her in it. I will finally get to meet Charlotte, Andy's granddaughter and check out my old house.

Otherwise, no news. The television has been off for weeks. Never even turn it on for weather. Last time it was on I was watching Buffy DVDs. I am up to season seven last disk and then I plan to watch season five of Angel and then Dresden..while I crochet a new liner for Ash-Leigh's favourite coat...okay my favourite coat for her.

I wrote Helen to ask why Ashanti was the only one of her dogs that never went for Am CH and she wrote back: We got Ashley when she was close to 6 mos old and Kim started showing her right away. She finished very fast in 3 or 4 shows. Kim took her down to US shows but she started putting her tail down in the ring so we decided that she didn’t like travelling and being
groomed so much so we retired her. It is expensive to show dogs and I won’t do
it if the dog doesn’t want this.

So, that was the explanation. She went on to have seven puppies. Three of them became Can/Am CH with top ranks, those three had offspring that also became Am/Can CH and also on into the next generation so the bloodline is great and there were a couple that became #1 top poodle in Canada with lots of Best in Shows. I am really interested in this stuff at the moment because I am reading Laurien Berenson's Melanie Travis mysteries about Melanie and her black standard poodle Faith going to dog shows to try and win her points. Then on top of that there is Andy and his Khairoh Kennels breeding champion standards and memories of Starsky the runt of a litter that almost died and was considered unsellable so he was given to me to raise and he turned out great. Not the smartest poodle but he got his obedience championship and was a wonderful companion for almost thirteen years. That is what are floating around reading Buffy graphic novels in between cosy mysteries about pit bulls, pet sitters, blacksmiths and malamutes or crocheting scarves, watching Buffy and trolling through Pinterest, Facebook and Tumblr and before you know it you are immersed in the dog fancy.


Aug. 17th, 2015 11:01 am
ladyloveswolves7: Beaugi bear (Default)
When Kira called on Friday to tell me Andy died and I was so shocked I don't remember the details very clearly. So I went on line to check how they determine time of death because he could have died any time between Sunday and yesterday or today (that part I missed when the cops broke down the door). I read about lividity and rigor and stuff like that. So then I went back to my book the final Dixie Hemingway and damned if within an hour I wasn't reading about her finding a body in a pool of blood and the lividity of his bare legs. Now this is book number ten in the series and not one of the previous books mentioned lividity in any context. So it is another instance of the weirdness that is my life.

I wrote the above note to myself (I am beginning to keep track of these oddities).

I finished the Blaize Clement series and had planned on reading Laurien Berenson’s Melanie Travis series so I started that series yesterday before Kira called. I am now on book number two in the series and all of a sudden it hit me…Andy and his wife bred standard poodles and I had one of his black poodles (I named him Starsky). Starsky’s was originally named Booberry and his sister Baaad To The Bone had a kennel name of Razzberry. Razzberry went on to get in the record books as having three champion offspring. Andy and Shan used the kennel name Khairoh and I was doing online research on it today before I went back to my book and realized that this series is all about Peg who breeds black standard poodles and Melanie her niece who is learning to show a black standard female Faith. I was reading along about what is involved in showing a dog, the ribbons, the judges, the care for hair and it hit me…more weirdness of timing in my life.

I just went back into the notebook that tells me when to breathe (I stole that from Donna Andrews’ character Meg) and found this entry from July 21st. I was reading Virginia Lowell’s Cookie Cutter series and eating a cookie and thinking about the bucket of Tiffany coloured fondant I had in the cupboard. I have never baked a cookie in my life and when I got the first novel in this series it just so happened my neighbour gave me a cookie cutter for Christmas (a tiny weirdness) was attached, to some tea towels she was buying for me, as a decoration. Off my own bat months later I bought myself a poodle cookie cutter because I have a poodle and when I got a cat I got a cat cutter. They sat on my fridge and I was hoping my store would have Pillsbury sugar cookie dough that I could roll out and test my cutters on…there was no thought in my mind of actually making my own dough. Anyway, I was just wondering if I could roll out fondant and use cutters on it just to see what it would look like and so I tried it and it worked a treat. Not only that but I got to use my mother’s rolling pin that I have had in drawer since 1993 and never used. I then did research on line with question and learned there is such a thing as fondant cutters but it said you could use cookie cutters too…which I did. Then I got to the final book in the series Dead Men Don’t Eat Cookies and on page 13 – dead man with what looks like a cookie cutter necklace I found and one of the ladies says “it is even smaller than a fondant cutter”. This is book six in the series and this is the first mention of fondant or fondant cutters – not ten minutes after I did a search about fondant cutters. I have had that bucket of fondant for almost two years and my cookie cutters almost as long and this was the first time I connected them in my mind..of course I had been reading cookie cutter mysteries and royal icing so the leap to doing something with my cookie cutters was not a leap but the rest of it….weirdness. I have so many instances of this…was it Jung who postulated the great unconsciousness in which we are all linked?

I have frequently joked that there are times I feel like my head is broadcasting and the world is picking my brain because as soon as I think of something…it appears on whatever I am reading or watching or listening to or someone mentions it.
ladyloveswolves7: Beaugi bear (Default)
I have never had a wide circle of friends and my family is not large. The friends that I made in my life, few of them were readers. Those that were readers never read the same books as me. I consider myself an eclectic reader. I drift from genre to genre, subject to subject on a whim or a mood. I love lists and book lists in particular. Over the course of my long life I have read most of the classics but never fell in love with them. People who rave about Jane Austen make me wonder about myself. In some ways I think that I have not read all of Jane Austen out of sheer stubbornness. I should have so I won’t…pout.

I recently read a book blog by another book crazy lady and went through her list of the books she had read in the last five years. My first reaction was …I am falling behind popular culture. So many books, so little time. Am I wasting my time on books that are not worthy? In 2015 I challenged myself to 250 books (which I shall soon increase to 300). Goodreads Challenge…I am up to 218 books. For sure this year I am reading quantity, not quality but I am also reading what comforts me these days. I no longer read books that challenge my mind, are considered ‘good’, are best sellers, are life affirming or any other reason for reading. I do not want my emotions shifted, my heart moved, my mind increased. Been there, done that. All my life I kept a binder in which I wrote the title of every book I ever read. The thing is massive because reading has always been the be all end all of my life. It is my addiction, my only true friend but that friend is not classy, overly intelligent, famous or ageless. He changes frequently from science fiction to fantasy to mysteries to romances, to biography. Books of quotations, books about reading, books about cooking (I who never cook…read cookbooks). Books of jokes and books of cartoons. I have to possess books; going to the library doesn’t suit me any more…though when I was a child it was my favourite place in the whole world. On Tumblr…pictures of book shelves and libraries are what hold my interest most. There are books I read almost yearly. I have books that I have read thirty times. Funny things can put me off, I read Lord of the Rings ten times before the movie came out and now cannot read it at all. I have had my Harlequin romance years (the early years before sex), my Barbara Cartland phase, Georgette Heyer. I did read a couple Jacqueline Susann books but no Jackie Collins. A few Harold Robbins back in the day. Patrick O’Brien series is wonderful but work so I read Dudley Pope’s Ramage or Alexander Kent’s Bolitho more often. I fall in love with writers….Harlan Ellison, Hunter S. Thompson, Truman Capote. There are writer’s whose lives are more interesting to me than their actual writing…like Virginia Woolf. I am set in my ways and time is short. It breaks my heart that there are so many books I might like to taste but don’t because time is limited and I would rather stick with my favourite ones. Still, I sometimes feel I am doing a disservice to my brain, that I am not reading up to my potential, that I am missing a lot of life. Then I listen to the news and realize…life is not what it is cracked up to be and I will continue to read stuff that doesn’t stir me to grief and tears or to nausea. In other words, reading lite…nothing too taxing. I go on binges in categories…one book leading to another as fast as I can buy and read. I do not write much on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and WordPress. I save photos on Pinterest. I have a Twitter account but do not tweet. I have a Facebook but seldom post anything…just look at what shows up on my feed. I am connected but not involved and that just about sums up my life in books I read but not much sticks. I have notebooks filled with quotes and lines that I fell in love with in books and feared I would forget or never come across again. I buy mostly paperbacks so I can underline and annotate. I can reread any of my books frequently…one of the side benefits of reading quickly and not absorbing. I love when a single line in one book or a name will send me to Google or to Amazon and off on a tangent to a new interest, a new series. I am not an adventurous reader…or at least I do not think I am. I am not that fussy about quality of writing. There are very few books in my life that I didn’t finish and of those only one I regret…Proust’s Remembrance. I think I grew too old to appreciate it and the last time I tried I realized there was no point. I am totally incapable of writing reviews of books I have read…I cannot break them down into what was good and what was bad or what was well written and what was not. I could recap with spoilers the entire thing but that is not a review. I have no discernible taste as far as I know. I have never read a book I hated or could not finish because it was awful. I also have seldom read a book I thought was absolutely fabulous. Books are either keepers or ones I know instantly I will never read again. When I am asked to rate books I am always ticked off that there are not enough stars. Often my feeling is 3 stars are too few and 4 stars are too many and my lack of discrimination makes me hesitant to ever use 5 stars. Books are like chocolate….even poor quality chocolate is great stuff.
ladyloveswolves7: Beaugi bear (Default)
Subj: Black Dog
Date: 06/04/2001 8:39:47 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: KSchmo7177
To: Fan4Richie

Ursula: (ignore/delete this rant)
It is still wrangling me to the ground on a daily basis but I am hanging in there. I only got Part 1 of the Purple thingy Barney, and the other stuffed kids thingys but I liked part one. Oh god I wish I had a life. Or my hours were longer. How long does it take for St. Johns Wort to work? One pill a day at how much per pill? Hubby fixed a drain today (whoopee). Tempted to send him a long email telling him exactly where I am and what is going through my head. Wouldn't the shit hit the fan.

I spent the day repeating an entire previous day's work trying to find 35 cent error. How did I miss it the last time I did this? I am 56 years old. My mother died in 1993 at 63. Why am I pissing away an entire day on useless bullshit?

You can tell he has been biting at my heels this afternoon. Mondays are always a bitch. The waking panic attack today did not disburse but hung on chewing on my chest for hours. It becomes circular. Field across the road is showing green. Whatever farmer planted in May has started to come up. Ain't nature a marvel.

I will probably be bugging you for part 2 of the purple fairy (did I sent you a picture of MY purple fairy bear. articulated with feathered wings- he sits in the lap of my fancy dressed rat.).

It is to weep. Life is a bitch and then you die. Problem is when there is nothing particular wrong. So why the misery? Mom's birthday was May 3 and she died in 93 is that a reason for all of May to be a bitch. Probably.

Things/jobs/duties/fucking things to do - looming and I have no stamina or willingness to tackle them. Huff June 6, Kaila birthday June 10 ugh, blood donor June 12 - okay if I am first in first out, son 550 lbs doctor appoint June 13 (which one of us will kick the bucket first him or me). June 14 Nicky going in for surgery on throat - hospitals are dangerous places for people with no immunity.

Sister will be 53 and has three grandchildren two of whom are almost in their teens. wow
Peter will be one year back on wagon but I have not recovered from his two years off the wagon. Fragile is how I would describe myself. Expecting some further catastrophe in my life and holding my breath waiting for it.

Pessimism as a way of life. You could put my name on that. The glass is always half empty in my view.

Some good and bad stories. Trying to distinguish between.
I spoke of the difference between the two fandoms. Another difference - S&H has few incredibly
evocative lines. M/K fiction if absolutely full of them.
I collect quotations, lines, evocative phrases and have done all my life in my Commonplace book. It took me a long time to notice that S&H has very few keepers unlike M/K which is so full of them that it is practically a full time job collecting them. heheh
Gotta love our Alex who is, at bottom, responsible for some of the most creative, inspirational and wonderful shit on the planet.
So right now I want: which one is Bodie and which one is Ray, I want colour pictures labelled who is who. I hate reading stories and cannot picture the people. Regular fiction that you buy - you create in your mind's eye the character as described by the writer. Fan Fiction is missing something unless you have seen the show and your mind is filled with the character, the attributes, the background.
Is it because fan fiction assumes you know these people and therefore does not describe them fully enough for a stranger to round them out or picture them in their mind? Probably.
I just know that sometimes the stories lack a visual picture of the character. The fact that I know what Starsky or Hutch or Alex or Mulder look like is no excuse for the writer to skip describing him/them.
Oh god I am just so way out to lunch. Going to read Starsky & Hutch zine (but it is one of the not schmoopy ones - this one has character death, character losing lover, character telling partner he loves and partner running for hills).
Hubby just took apart kitchen sink and found one of those chicken squewer (sic) thingies in the trap and that he says is why sink has been backing up.
One problem down and a hundred to go.
Is this dumping? Probably, at this point in my mind it is hard to tell. I am having sympathy with xanthe's Mrs. Krycek in fugue.
I am really really tired of lugging this misery around.
Hubby's sister dropped by unannounced (again) on Sunday to check (she says) on her garden (hubby gave her and his mother a section of our garden to plant vegetables). So now on my days off she/they are liable to show up unannounced. This is the second time they have arrive like this since his sister moved to Toronto to live with his mother. I did not acknowledge her arrival and remained in my bed with my magazine.
Mi casa su casa = just as long as I don't have to *entertain* you. In the past when *his relatives arrived I made nice and carried the conversation while he deaked off to play in the yard with his tractor or whatever. Nevermore. when his family shows up from now on I am keeping myself absent and let him *talk* to them for a change. I have no living relatives left to bug him and make him be a responsible human being. So I have ceased to be responsible for his mother's birthday, mother's day, christmas gift etc. Cards to his sister, remembering their anniversaries. Fuck them all. I have abdictated my responsibility to *his family*.
Of course I know it is the *black dog* who has been whispering in my ear for a year or more and that I, Karen-Leigh, would never ever be so unkind or unthinking. Sigh.
Minutiae. A life of minutiae.
How come I missed the Purple Fairy? My email is still, lately, sending me part 2 and not part 1 of everything.
I know I am sooooooo far behind on Book 5 of Nickzone game and poor Baines is languishing in limbo.
I am thrilled to bits. All my journals from ten or more years ago on DOS I have moved into Windows Word. Lots of ugly tag bits and shit to clean off copy but hey the DATA is not LOST.
Of course, rereading my journals is fatal. I only write ugly, unhappy, nasty, depressed shit in journals. When I am happy I have no need to write as a catharsis. God help my family if I die and they read through shit I wrote. I better put in my will - bomb my computer instantly, the moment you know I am dead, take computer to a NERD and have the hard drive erased immediately for your own mental health and safety.

I wish I was thinner. The vitamins are clearing up my skin at least. So I should soon be pleased about that. Managed to get them down with regular milk instead of buttermilk this morning. I am determined.
I gotta call the vet =- they normally call and let me know when dogs are due but this year they have not called nor have they sent a post card. Jayar died in December 2000 and it is like all my other dogs died with him.

Heartworm pills are due in June and since they have not contacted me as ususual, I guess I will have to call them and make an appointment.
I am going to go back to the beginning of this rant and tell you to ignore/delete it.
ladyloveswolves7: Beaugi bear (Default)
Subj:Re: [Zinelist] Pros
Date:04/20/2004 11:03:02 AM Eastern Daylight Time

It must also be taken into consideration that UNCLE aired world wide. It was
a big presence in Canada which NEVER saw the Professionals at all except in one small area.
As someone said in a previous post, the Professionals has done better than any other
fandom considering its lack of distribution. It is really easy to write new
stuff when the show you are writing about has been on television in reruns for
the entire 25 years all over the world.

The other comment about Professionals being written before being seen is
extraordinary. In most, if not all, fandoms there are always a few who write
without having seen...based on previously read fan fiction. But for new writers
in this age of net, it is almost compulsory to have at least SEEN the show
before attempting to being god as we all know.

As a newcomer to Pros fiction I am (being primarily a book fanatic and print
fiend) collecting all the zines and printing out the stories to read. There
is just SOOOOO much to read and new fen like me do not need new fiction (or
will not for at least another year :-). However, new fiction is being written.
Not as prolifically as other fandoms but new zines are being produced in Pros
(as in S&H) and without all the S&H movie hype newbies are still arriving in
The Professionals fandom. Most older fen remain very loyal and still check in on the fandom
and take care of it. Pros has the best story archive system of any fandom I have encountered to date (including X-Files which is primarily a net
phenomenon). Much love and care from day one has gone into this fandom's life and in my
first year as a newbie I have not seen (on any list) any of the shark infested
horrors that I experienced in my first year in Starsky & Hutch fandom. It
might be that my skin is thicker and I understand list culture better and what
might have crushed me then now runs off my back like water off a duck. I have
found my on-list voice and I quickly recognize the posters who are potential
minefields to deal with. There are witches and bitches in every fandom and it
pays to sit back and learn to recognize them and THEN decide to avoid or tackle



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